I'm bad.. I know.. But what can I do? This is what I truly feel. This is who I am. Do I really need to change my feelings toward something just for other people not to get hurt? Don't I have the right to be true to what I really feel? Why would I act/do something that I really don't like to do? Can't they understand? I don't know why people tend to force me to do things that I don't want to. They don't really force me but... They make me feel like I'm the evil one in the story. I hate this.
Why can't they understand??
I had such kind of feelings hitting me long back..to be precise way back 8 yrs..in my 10th standard..I wrote something on it..Dont have the entire write but will try and recollect some excerpts..
ReplyDeleteI often go into a deep well of thoughts whenever i stand in front of a mirror..because it's then I encounter the self of mine being portrayed to the world..It's then I realize the duality of my existence i.e of me and my perceived image..it's then i realize the actual me and the me the world knows are entirely different entities..the one who stands in realism and the other who is just a reflection..
I often wonder who is the best judge of me, me myself or the people who have a perception of myself. They just expirience a part of me in bits and pieces and I am an expirience to my own self, witnessing each and everything, even things that do not transcend to actions.
Who is the best potrayal of realism the entity or the entities perception, reflection..
Standing in front of the mirror makes me realize that there are bound to be instances when the reflection does not convey the truth..REMEMBER THE RIGHT APPEARS TO BE LEFT..
wow. that was long. you haven't passed by for quite a while. hehe!
ReplyDeletei believe that each one of us, no matter how we deny it, has this image/own self that is, i dare call, "for public viewing only." no matter how we convince ourselves that we are our own self's judge and we don't need to blend in to the world's expectations of us, we can't do anything. that's just how life works right. it just hurts because you know you are only fooling yourself and not the world by what you are doing.