Happy Father's Day Tatay

“I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger.”

- The Best Day by Taylor Swift

My father's phone call woke me up today. It's just so nice to hear his voice. But because I was still so sleepy, I forgot to greet him a Happy Father's Day. I'm so sorry Tatay and Happy Father's Day.

I was browsing through the status updates in Facebook and saw a lot of father's day greetings. Then I realized a lot of people I know didn't grow up with their father by their side. It must be very hard for them. I couldn't imagine growing up without him.

I'm so thankful that I have the best dad in the world. Many people misunderstand him, including me sometimes, but I know he's always thinking of what's good for me and my sisters. I know he loves me so much. I have failed him so many times but he's still on my side, guiding me. I lived half of my life without him by my side physically. It was very hard too. It's still isn't easy even today. But as what mom and he used to say, it's for me and my sisters. I think of all the boys in my life, he's the only one I could really trust. They say I resemble him a lot. My mom and my eldest sister says I even got much of his attitude. I used to be very close to him before he left to work abroad but after a few years a lot of things have changed and sometimes it makes me sad that we're not as close anymore. I hope he'll come home and just stay here for good. I want to make up for the years we didn't spend together. I have always been asking him about that but he says it's not yet time. Well, that's true, my sisters are still studying and we still couldn't manage if he's gonna stop working now. Sometimes I really hate the fact that we can't be together because of money. But I know it's useless - all the blaming. Because here we are, we survived all the storms so far including the 1 decade of living away from each other. 

So tatay, I have a lot of unsent letters for you. I'm so sorry I never had the guts to give it. But I hope you'll get to read this, I love you so much and thank you for everything. Thank you for taking care of me, my sisters, and nanay, and thank you so much for putting up with me despite all my failures. And thank you for being so brave in facing life without mama just for me and my sisters.